Many women find it incredibly difficult to
understand men. What you ladies need to
understand is that we are totally different, and
instead of giving up, all of us should try to
embrace the differences and accept each other for
who we really are. Only then, we can use all of this
knowledge to our advantage. The following article
illustrates the differences between the $exes and
explains how you can use these differences to your
advantage.
Modern science has allowed us to study the male
and female brains and come up with conclusions
as to why we are so different. This is mainly down
to how our brains are structured, and that’s what
this article is about. It will not teach you how to
make him fall in love with you but it will show you
why we are so different and as soon as you
understand these differences and accept them as
reality, it will become much more easier to relate to
men.
Human Relationships: Women communicate much
better than men, they focus on how to create a
solution that works for the entire group, talking
through issues, and utilizes non-verbal cues such
as tone, emotion and empathy. Men on the other
hand, tend to be more task oriented, less talkative
and more isolated. Men have a hard time
understanding emotions that are not spoken, while
women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues.
These differences clearly explain why men and
women sometimes have difficulty in
communication and why men-to-men friendships
look different from friendships among women.
What does this mean? If you ever had a
conversation with a man and got deep into a
subject but yet felt like you spoke a completely
different language well, this is to blame. In your
first steps to understanding men this is the first
thing you need to comprehend, MEN ARE
DIFFERENT. They are so different in fact that
sometimes we can’t even communicate but, if you
can try to lower yourself to our level of
communication, which means vocalizing the
majority of your emotions, you’ll have a much
better chance at properly communicating with a
man.
Now, I’m not telling you to vocalize absolutely
everything that you’re feeling but when a man asks
you if something is wrong and you say “Nothing”
you need to understand that unless you actually
TELL HIM what’s wrong, he won’t have the
slightest clue. Sure, you’re best friends get you
and maybe even your husband if you’ve been
together for years but, the average guy or even
your 2 year long boyfriend won’t. Lowering yourself
down to our more simple way of communicating
will only make life easier for all of us.
Left brain vs both hemispheres: Experts have
proven that men process better in the left
hemisphere while women tend to process equally
well between the two hemispheres. This difference
clearly shows why men are stronger with left-brain
activities and approach problem solving from a
task-oriented perspective while women typically
solve problems more creatively and are more aware
of feelings while communicating.
What does this mean? This task oriented approach
means men think in the following manner when
trying to solve a problem: “In order to solve this
problem I will need to get this done first, then this
other thing, then this and then they all fit into
place and get this done”. Multitasking? There’s no
such thing as multitasking when it comes to men…
This also explains why men get angry when you
are multitasking (e.g talking to them and doing
something else) because they simply can’t
understand what you’re doing. This is another
prime example that will get you closer to accepting
just how different men are and proves why men are
better in some jobs (programming, business) and
women in others (teaching, caretaking).
Mathematical Abilities: An area in the brain called
the inferior-parietal lobule (IPL) is typically
significantly larger in men, especially on the left
side, than in women. This is the section
responsible with mathematical ability, and probably
explains why men perform higher in mathematical
tasks than do women.
What’s even more interesting is that this area of
the brain that was abnormally large in Einstein. The
IPL also processes sensory information, and the
larger right side in women allows them to focus
on, “specific stimuli, such as baby crying in the
night”.
Reaction to stress: In stress situation men have a
response reaction that resembles “fight or flight”
while women react with a “tend and befriend”
strategy. Psychologist Shelly E. Taylor first came
up with the phrase “tend an befriend” after noticing
that during times of stress women tend to take
care of themselves and their children (tending) and
form strong group bonds (befriending).
The reason behind these different reactions to
stress is down to hormones. When someone is
under stress the hormone oxytocin is released into
the body. In men, testosterone reduces the effects
of oxytocin as it is produced in high volumes
during stress; this explains the reason for the
“fight or flight” response. In women, estrogen
amplifies the effects of oxytocin resulting in
calming and nurturing feelings.
Language: The two sections in the brain which are
responsible for language have been found to be
significantly larger in women than in men,
indicating one reason why women typically excel in
language-based subjects and in language-a
$$ociated thinking.
It’s also important to mention that men typically
process language in one hemisphere whilst women
process it in both. This differences offers a bit of
protection in case of a stroke, as women may be
able to recover fully from a stroke affecting the
language areas in the brain while men may not
have this same advantage.
Emotions: The most obvious difference is probably
the emotions. Women have a larger deep limbic
system than men, it allows them o be more in
touch with their feelings and better able to express
themselves, which promotes bonding with others.
This is one of the reasons why women serve as
caregivers for children. Sadly this comes with a
downside as this larger deep limbic system also
opens women up to depression, especially during
times of hormonal shifts such as after childbirth or
during a woman’s menstrual cycle.
What does this mean? Again, as I’ve mentioned
above, women are much better at communicating
than men so, if you want to be understood by a
man you need to lower yourself to his level of
communication. Vocalize what you are feeling and
he will have a much easier time in understanding
you. Don’t give up saying, “ah men don’t
understand me”, try to make them understand and
you will see that your love life success will greatly
improve.
Also, it’s worth mentioning that some men
understand these differences themselves and will,
in turn, try to take advantage of your emotional
brain by making you feel good all of the time. Sure,
this may sound great, but in reality many of the
men that understand this concept, often use it for
their own benefit (I know because I used to do it…).
However, it’s also important to note that many of
these men live to please and if you can “keep”
them you’re on the right track for a lifetime of
happiness.
We’ll look into the types of men and how to keep
them, in the newsletter.
Brain Size: Typically, men’s brains are 11-12%
bigger than women’s brains. Sadly, this difference
in size has absolutely nothing to do with
intelligence, but does explain the difference in size
between men and women. Men need a bigger brain
to control their bigger bodies and muscles.
Pain: Men and women perceive pain differently.
Studies have shown that women need more
morphine to reach the same level of pain reduction.
They have also shown that woman vocalize their
pain and seek treatment much quicker than men.
During pain, an area of the brain called the
amygdala is activated.
Research has shown that in men the right
amygdala (controls external functions) is activated
and in women the left amygdala (controls internal
functions) is activated. This is the reason women
seem to perceive pain more intensely than men,
although they can withstand higher levels of pain
(childbirth).
So what can we draw from this article? Most
importantly the fact that men and women are
completely different. This is actually funny when
you think about it because we can’t live without
each other. Couples are essentially a better human
being. Because both the male and female
perspectives are shared regarding any life situation,
life as a couple should be genuinely easier than
single life.
What can you do with this sort of information? Men
love women that they can connect to, although we
may never reach the same level of communication,
by vocalizing your emotions more often you’ll have
a higher chance of connecting with a man.
Also, by understanding what this article tried to
explain (that we are incredibly different) you can
change your perception on men and instead getting
upset and saying “You don’t understand me!”…you
can laugh inside and think to yourself, “Haha, you
don’t have the ability to understand me, you
primitive creature”.
-Alex Matocks
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